questions.

when will i pick up the pieces

when will time let me move forward

i sit here. this numbing feeling in my chest.

i try to worship.

i try to smile.

these forced conversations. forced feelings.

i lock them up hoping they won't come out.

i won't let You see my hurt

my pain.

but You do. and You cry with me.

God i'm so sick of tears. i hate them. i should be done with them right now.

You are breaking me. i know it's necessary

but

it

hurts

like 

hell

i'm just being honest.  i'm sick of not feeling up to standards.

but i am Your child.

that should be enough.

You see me stumble. Shake Your head and pick me up again.

when will this be over?

when will my broken-ness be fixed?

when will my wounds heal?

only You know.

and Your timing is perfect.

whenever that time will be.