Saturday, June 20, 2009

park sightings

"all i can do is worship You"

lately that line has been consistently rumbling through my head.

i have had many unknowns develop over the past several months.  many heartaches. many uncertainties.  my mind still can not fully digest nor wrap itself around what's going on in my life.

i don't have answers to any of my questions.  I don't have stability in many areas of my "adult life".  

but i'm coming to grips to realizing that through it all, "all i can do is worship You". through the bad times.
worship You.
through the good times.
Honor You.
through the difficult times.
Run to You.

i was sitting at the park a few days ago where a father and his child were playing.  The Father was trying to point out the millions of fish off the dock to his son who kept running ahead. The father would catch up, encourage his son to come look at the fishes, only to have his son laugh, and run away.  The father was persistent and kept running after his son.  the son would try to peek his little head through the fencing to look at the fishes but of course could not, and then would proceed to run farther ahead. each time the Father would leave his comfortable spot and run towards his child.  Finally the father scooped up his son in his arms, while his son screamed and begged to be let down. he fought with his dad when finally his dad hoisted him on his shoulders so he could get a better look at the fish. the son laughed and smiled.

i love it when my Father hoists me up, scoops me in His arms and carries me away.

but more importantly i love it when He never lets me go, runs after me, and never gives up.

"all i can do is worship You"

Saturday, June 6, 2009

wallflower

i'm so sick of being pushed to the wayside. sick of not being noticed. i don't know if it's a pride thing or what but if i do a good job at work, or clean up nicely, or hit the right note, whatever, i just ask for a simple thank you. 
or good job.
or that's awesome.
but tonight what do i get?

silence.

sometimes i wonder if there's a reason i'm overlooked. it's kind of frustrating really.

it's like, how much harder can i try?
how much more can i do?
do you even care?
would you notice if i just slipped into the background?

yup. i guess that's what i might as well do.

but the life of a wallflower sounds like such a bland life.